I'm back again to pour my digital ink on the Wingless Dreamer Blog and offer a new insight, discovery, or gentle reminder about the Negative Nancy Brain. Have you ever wondered what's behind negative thoughts? You're doing everything you can to feel more positive, but negativity still creeps back in. The question remains: why?
Let me answer that by asking another question: What do you see in the image above? Is the water jug half-filled or half-empty? (Don't grin - I know you're familiar with this experiment, but let me share a lesson with Generations Z and Alpha. Sit tight!)
There's no right or wrong answer. If you see the jug as half-empty, it typically signifies a negative perspective, focusing on the pessimistic aspect and emphasizing what's lacking. However, if you're optimistic, you'll cherish what's partially filled and view it as an optimistic outlook, celebrating the remaining half-capacity. After all, something is better than nothing.
How to tackle the "glass half empty" mentality?
These four groups of questions will help you figure out why you struggle with negativity and guide you through the ways to deal with it better.
Reflective Questions:
What makes you think this situation will turn out badly?
Is there an experience influencing your negative expectations?
How does expecting the worst outcome affect your mental well-being?
Do you feel like you're prepared for every possible outcome?
Are there any alternative, more positive outcomes you've considered?
Challenging Negative Thoughts:
Is there another way to look at this situation?
Are you assuming the worst without evidence?
Is this thought based on facts or fears?
Would you say this thought is helpful or harmful?
Can you reframe this negative thought into a more balanced one?
Exploring Underlying Fears:
What's the root of your fear about this situation?
Are you afraid of losing control or making a mistake?
Is there a specific outcome you're trying to avoid?
How would you cope if the worst outcome happened?
Are there any irrational fears driving your expectations?
Encouraging Positive Perspectives:
What would you do if the best possible outcome happened?
Can you think of any positive aspects of this situation?
How might this experience help you grow or learn?
Are there any successes or strengths you can draw upon?
What would you say to a friend in a similar situation?
So, say bye-bye to the process of anticipating the worst possible outcome. Try to understand the psychological interpretation of it.
Why Negativity Creeps in and How to Deal with It
We often simplify someone's overall attitude towards life as either optimistic or pessimistic. However, there's more to it.
Our brain is wired to constantly scan for threats, thanks to our primordial ancestors who core-integrated this survival mechanism.
Although essential in prehistoric times, this instinct is largely unnecessary in the 21st century. Unlike our ancestors, who loomed large physical danger from wild animals, we no longer have to worry about being chased. Yet we face negativity even in this century, thanks to how our minds work.
Better safe than sorry!
Your brain often thinks, "Better safe than sorry!" It's like having a built-in alarm system that sounds at the slightest hint of danger. Research shows that this thought pattern often results in negativity. However, sometimes these perceived dangers that breed negativity turn out to be golden opportunities knocking on your door.
For instance, imagine your manager asking you to give an impromptu presentation at a world conference attended by CEOs and founders of major companies – a rare gathering of influential leaders. Your heart will start racing, and before you know it, you'll be overcome with nervousness. So why this negativity and how do you deal with it? Your brain caught the delusional whiff of danger. To deal with this critical moment, you must overcome your mind and body's instincts and tap into your resilience to deliver a world-class performance.
The Memory Vault - A Storeroom for Negativity
Your brain stores past hurts and disappointments like old files in a dusty attic. Sometimes, it rummages through them, replaying negative thoughts in the loop. It's a vicious, unanticipated, and unstoppable cycle. But the good news is - it's controllable. We can always harness the psychological skillset to either hon the skill in diverting our mind or learn how to distract ourself. Eventually, by doing so, in no time we will be able to tackle the ghosts from the past. Time to trade in the ghosts for goals! No more haunting, it's hunting season now!
'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.' -Bill Keane
'Hangry' mode is real. Don't ignore it.
As we are discussing this subject, I unknowingly feel a slight irritation. Before I knew my stomach started growling and yes, I was hungry! So, see sometimes, it has nothing to do with your mind but your body. Many biological factors can be responsible for the brain's grumpy mode such as the lack of sleep, a restless environment, a hungry body, etc. Tired brains tend to focus on the negative. Think of it as your brain's "hangry" mode! This subtle 'why' of negativity, though easily ignored, can be dealt with by taking care of your body.
The Unattainable Goal: Perfectionism, Jesus Christ!
I know it's hard to help, and no one truly understands us. Don't worry, we're in this together. As humans, we strive for perfection. Even small imperfections, like a pen out of its holder or Lego pieces scattered across the floor, can make us uncomfortable. EEEEESSSHHH! Our brains are wired to recognize patterns, which fuels our desire for perfection. But when reality falls short, disappointment and negativity creep in, leading us to say hurtful things to loved ones, only to regret them later.
To manage this, find your own sanctuary or haven where you can retreat when feeling overwhelmed or irritable. Whenever you sense your frustration building or messiness causing discomfort, take time out in your safe space until the feeling passes. Remind yourself that the world doesn't orbit around your expectations. Embrace the diversity of human experiences and accept that things won't always go as planned. Instead of focusing on what's lacking, shift your gaze to the brighter side. After all, the jar is half-filled – and that's something to be grateful for.
Say no to the toxic influences in your surroundings
Every day, we're exposed to negativity - knowingly or unknowingly - through people, media, or our surroundings. What we often overlook is that our brain absorbs it like a sponge. Negativity isn't limited to extreme evils; even mediocrity and ill-mannered behaviours count. Our thoughts are shaped by the data we feed our minds and bodies.
Consider this: a toddler watching violent cartoons may mimic that behaviour, smashing windows or screens with a toy bat. This illustrates a profound truth: what we see is what we do. Our surroundings shape our actions, and our brain internalizes the messages we expose it to. This is one of the reasons why we battle with negativity but we can deal with it by prioritizing self-care. Make time to incorporate activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul like:
Melodious music or soothing sounds
Massage therapy or meditation
Nature walks or outdoor escapes
These simple habits can help calm your mind, reduce stress, and increase overall well-being.
In the end, I would say that it's okay if you have a negative mindset but you can deal with it. That's the good news; you can rewire your brain to think more positively! All the best.
POEM - THE THING THAT DWELLS
by Morgana Faye
something, deep within blood-red chambers, dwells
festering, withering mass of ill will and hysteria
mayhem of death and destruction of reason
It claws at the ivory cage keeping the creature at bay
anxious to lash ribbons of red against walls
wordless shrieks rattle against bony bars
hope It breathes, despair It exhales
drown the soul in a whirlpool of calamity
even so, It remains out of sight, out of mind
confined to a space inhospitable to all but one
that part of us that should never see the light of day
yet never one to let anyone forget
below wispy red strings and translucent streams
ghastly thrills chill warm blood
It creeps between spaces where life and death intersect
give way to a man’s last stand or end
once It takes hold, It will not let go
not until you take your last breath
all the while the shadows flicker and flay
for something, deep within blood-red chambers, dwells
Black screens aren’t something terrifying
And yet…
In this brief moment
I come face-to-face with this blankness
With the same vague reflection, the same shadows
Call of the void, so they say
To lose oneself within the infinity of everything and nothing
An all-encompassing black hole emptiness
Drawing you into a place beyond comprehension
Flesh and bones and skin and blood tether my soul
Yet, I feel some part of me drift away
Knowing this moment will pass and with it
This blank screen will save in its memories a stranger
One that takes on my face
Living different lives
Living different lies
Fear takes whatever shapes the mind forms.
There’s only so much the eyes can see, what the mind knows and understands. Even then, fear manifests the worst you believe something to be. Irrational it may be, it exists from things some part of you recognize as dangerous. After all, the human species didn’t come this far ignoring warning signs. Dangers exist both in plain sight and out of sight, out of mind. No matter what, fear is a core primal instinct that exists to protect us. I know that.
There’s just one problem, however.
Why does that creature look like me?
What do you fear more?
The things that bump in the night?
Or the possibility of their existence?
Does it scare you more to know they’re real?
Would you prefer they’re mere figments of your imagination?
Is it because feeling helpless bothers you that much?
Knowing you can’t win against shadows?
That your screams will die in the air?
That only bits and pieces could be what’s left of you?
But pray, tell me, who are the real monsters?
Where did they come from?
How did they come to be?
Why have we as a society come to recognize their names?
What does it take to break a person beyond help?
Doesn’t it bother you how comfortable we’ve become?
To share the same space as the very things we claim to loathe?
But that’s not why you worry, is it?
Tell me, do you really fear them?
Or do you fear becoming them?
How long will it take to break you?
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
RUCHI ACHARYA
Ruchi Acharya is a multi-talented author hailing from India who has a passion for writing poems on nature, war, and love. Despite having a strong background in Electrical and Electronics engineering, English Literature, and Business Analytics, Ruchi pursued her creative side and found her love for writing. Currently studying Shakespearean Literature, Ruchi has always had a deep appreciation for the literary arts.
Ruchi is the owner of Wingless Dreamer, an international publishing company that focuses on helping writers and artists find their footing in the industry. Her work with Wingless Dreamer reflects her dedication to the betterment of the writing and art communities.
In her spare time, Ruchi volunteers for social services and enjoys spending time outdoors, finding inspiration for her poetry in the natural world. With her many talents and interests, Ruchi continues to be a rising star in the literary world, with many eagerly anticipating her next work.
ABOUT THE POET
MORGANA FAYE
Morgana Faye is a short story writer and poet. From thoughts to words, she weaves into a cohesive body of work. Writing allows Morgana time to slow down, collect her thoughts, and present them on paper. To catch those words before they slip from her grasp, forever lost during translation. Though recent, her blossoming interest in the publishing industry marks a pivotal change. Fall 2019 saw her poem “Closer” published in King’s River Review. However, it was not until 2024 that she would consider publishing a viable career path. Even so, Morgana seeks to showcase her skills to the world.
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