Background story
I know it hurts. I understand the pain. I didn't grasp the power of words in the midst of grieving. I lost a friend last week and it took me another week to finally write about it. While my heart is still processing the grief I've accumulated over the past few days, I thought, why not discuss the significance of writing about personal loss? Well, I am here now constantly hitting "backspace" after every sentence and trying to express my sentiments. This is my first time so, kindly, bear with me.
When I heard the news, I felt like a surge in my heart, turning it blue as it fought against the flow of deoxygenated blood. For the first few hours, I was praying to God, let this news turn out to be a hoax, but, unfortunately, my gravest fears rose to the surface and the dark secluded energies surrounded me with the indefinite feeling of helplessness, sadness and agony. How do I process that? In all honesty, for the first 24 hours, I cried alone in my apartment. I didn't respond to any calls and hung in there in my solitary confinement. Going through her images and videos on Instagram and reading captions made me realise that time is ticking and this world is not becoming a better place to live in. Just like any other mourner, I begin blaming society for how hostile environment we humans have created for ourselves that has the potential to take away even the brightest star away from our sky.
She was a kindred spirit, a woman full of life living her dreams in her late 20's. I won't talk more about her but I would like to share this poem I wrote especially for her.
COUPLET - BRAVE-HEARTED MAIDEN BY RUCHI ACHARYA
In the loving memories of Shraddha Ghosh
She was like free verse, unforeseeable and unkissed, a strong-headed maiden
Her friends say, “We’re not close, though distant, she resonated within us somewhere.”
She never wanted me to share her story, so my grief remained silent for thousands of years
She's gone now, but I can see her in the amber sky and in the green leaves trekking to heaven
She mastered hiding her pain behind flawless laughter and a driven stare
I must never place trust in myself for interpreting people's emotions through their fake gestures
Plain in sight, right in front of my eyes, she suffered, oh, boy! She suffered
Each time my heart sinks, ponders at the thought of the world forever losing a brave daughter
Skilled and polished was she, now dancing in the moonlight among the gnomes and fairies
Through this poem, I will let her go and flow in these words, for she was a lover of poetry
Just like summer in Italy, English winter, she was an emotional seesaw within
In weighted steps, she freed her soul from the depths of misery's hold and life’s mystery
I stopped wondering about the reasons "why?" Instead, healing and helping in awry
I see her mother's eyes, hear her best friend's heavy voice—both helpless, yet she well lived her life
Before we jump into the discussion of why writing is one of the most important tools during the process of grief, let us all unanimously come to the agreement that
Grief is the price we pay for love. It's the final testament of our affection for those we endeared. Where profound grief resides, love once flourished abundantly.
Grief is not a state, it's a process.
It's not a state, it's the process. Henceforth, a few of the key points must be taken into consideration:
NO SHORTCUTS
There are no shortcuts or remedies to bereavement. Go through the whole process. Cry, scream, show disapproval, isolate (sometimes it helps greatly), and self-talk.
SELF-COMPASSION
Show some compassion towards yourself. I know it's extremely difficult to follow up the daily routine but keep pursuing it even though you hate it. Avoid self-blame.
NO NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Avoid negative self-talk and push yourself deliberately towards the darkness
MUSIC
Music helps to a certain point. Let your pain flow like a river along with the rhythmic effects of the music.
TALK TO SOMEONE
Validate your feelings and share your agony with your family, friends or someone trustworthy. We are social animals, we do need warmth in such ground-breaking and heart-throbbing life events.
With that out of sight, let's indulge in the power of writing.
Personal loss can inspire powerful writing in several ways:
1. Emotional depth
It' 's alright, if you're behaving out of your character because experiencing personal loss can evoke a range of intense emotions such as grief, sadness, anger, and longing. Henceforth, emphasises more on why writing plays a mere tool to activate resonancy with readers on a deep emotional level.
2. Empathy and connection
Writers who have experienced personal loss often develop a heightened sense of empathy for others who are going through similar experiences. This empathy can help them connect with readers who have also experienced loss, creating a sense of solidarity and understanding.
3. Reflection and introspection
Personal loss often prompts individuals to reflect on their own lives, values, and beliefs. This process of introspection can lead to profound insights and self-discovery, which can be expressed through writing.
4. Catharsis
Writing about personal loss can serve as a form of catharsis, allowing writers to process their emotions and find meaning in their experiences. By transforming their pain into art, writers can find a sense of closure and healing.
5. Universal themes
While personal loss is inherently individual, it also touches on universal themes such as love, loss, resilience, and the human condition. By tapping into these universal themes, writers can create writing that resonates with a wide audience and has the power to evoke empathy and understanding.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Ruchi Acharya, an Indian-born writer born in 1995, is the Founder and CEO of Wingless Dreamer Publisher, a global platform dedicated to uplifting writers and artists. Holding a summer graduation in English Literature from the University of Oxford, Ruchi's poetic prowess shines through her acclaimed work, including the poetry book "Off the Cliff," available on Amazon. Recognized in over 100 journals worldwide, she advocates for the preservation of literature, culture, and history.
Her literary knowledge has been widely applauded and shared on InterNations, Viewless Wings Podcast, and on various other reputed platforms. Ruchi, a passionate explorer of historical sites, resides in Mumbai, immersing herself in its vibrant culture. Her dedication to fostering creativity and encouraging aspiring writers positions her as a leading figure in the literary realm.
Website: https://www.ruchiacharya.com
"All worries are less with wine."